Paula's Voice
Sugar, rice, flour, bread, sugar, flour, rice, sugar, sugar, sugar, bread, bread, rice, flour, sugar. (Her voice changes). Sugar, rice, flour, flour, sugar, sugar. (A knock on the door). Rice, rice, flour, flour, bread, bread, bread---

Naomi
(Knocks on the door) Mama, open the door! Mama!

Paula
Sugar, flour, rice, bread, sugar, flour, rice, bread.

Naomi
Mama! It's me Naomi! (She's beating the door with her fists)

Paula
Sugar, flour....

Naomi
Open! open for me, Mama! Mama!

Naomi's shouts are mixed with her mother's strange recitation: "Sugar, flour, rice, bread."

A whirpool of voices.

CREDITS

Hunger by Israeli author Nava Semel, based on a short story by the same name, from the collection A Hat of Glass.
Music: Bach's Third Brandenburg Concerto.

***
Outdoors noise; a street, distant cars, children playing, a crack, window is being closed. The outdoor sounds abruptly stop. Bach's music is heard.

A knock on the door.

Gideon
Yes?

Door opens.

Nurse
Doctor Adar, are you busy?

Gideon
What do you want?

Nurse
One, seven, eight, four. The medical file of our new patient. You did ask to read it.

Gideon
Thank you.

Nurse
We've put her in room number 9.

Gideon
How is she?

Nurse
She is very quiet. (Pause) Dr. Adar?

Gideon
Yes?

Nurse
Will you be treating her?

Gideon
I don't know.

Nurse
She specifically asked for you.

Gideon
There are other doctors in the ward.

Nurse
She said...

Rustling of papers. Gideon opens the file and reads.

Gideon
Paula Zimmermann. Age: 62. Initial diagnosis: severe depression. Physical condition: very poor. Principal Symptoms: Anorexia- self starvation. Admitted at 10:15 a.m., by her daughter Naomi. (Pause) What did she say?

Nurse
That you will understand.

***

Naomi
Mother, I told her, are you stocking up for siege? I've touched her dropped shoulder. Only now I've noticed how thin she became. And I was sure this is just the bridge to the next biological phase, when the body rids itself of all those surpluses created by self-indulgence, and makes do with simply satisfying its own modest needs.
And did you really think this was the case? asked me the doctor. Weren't you alarmed by her sudden loss of weight?
What does he want from me? To shake my conscience? His eyes avoid me. They drill holes in the blank sheets infront of him. Why doesn't he stop writing? My life story is unimportant. My mother's? Even to me she hadn't revealed evrything. His hand is running quickly on the white paper, filling letters to the end of line. (Cynical) He thinks that malady can be translated into words... My mother slammed the door of the pantry shut, blocked my way so I won't get close and cried: "Don't touch it Naomi! Haven't I told you there's going to be a famine!"

***

Gideon
Mrs. Zimmermann. (Pause) I brought you a cup of tea. I've put in plenty of lemon. Your daughter told me that you like it that way.

Gideon puts the cup of tea on the table, adds two teaspoons of sugar and stirrs. He bangs the spoon against the sides of the cup.

Gideon
Mrs. Zimmermann, are you with me? (He pulls his chair close to her) Here. Now Look at me, I sit next to you. Your daughter Naomi told me about you. Your'e a sensible woman. You've always been so careful about your appearance. The beauty parlor--- attractive clothes. And you have so many friends. You have a subscription to the Philharmonic, don't you? I like music too. Do you think you'd like to listen to some music while your'e here? I'm sure you'll be glad. Tell me who your favorite composers are and I'll make sure you get a phonograph and records. How about the Third Brandenburg Concerto? We could listen to it together. Here, Take it. Drink please. The tea is still hot. (Pause) Yigael called. He asked about you. Do you want him to come and visit you? It's been a long time. Your daughter told me he left for Canada eight years ago. He promised to come for new-year's eve. Maybe he can come a few weeks earlier. Your daughter tells me he's doing very well over there. You must be proud of him. You have two children who've done very well for themselves Mrs. Zimmermann, and you ought to take care of yourself. Don't you like your tea? Maybe it got cold. You don't drink. Is it too dark here? Maybe you can't see me. I'll open the window. (He goes to the window and opens it. The noise of the street is heard) Come Mrs. Zimmermann, come closer to the window. Just look how beautiful it is out there. Let's look together. Your daughter teaches nature, so she tells me. Collects all kinds of plants and teaches the children how to tell when the seasons are changing. Mrs. Zimmermann, come and smell. I'll help you. Come near the window. It's Such a beautiful day. When I was little we used to head for the citrus groves on days like this, just to smell the first oranges. Our shoes would be caked with mud and my mother would scrape the soles clean with a knife so I didn't get the floor dirty. She was afraid even from the smallest stain. But you are not afraid, are you? Drink Your tea please. It's still warm. Not too hot, not burning. Come. Open up your lips and I'll pour in, oh no... (The cup falls down and breaks) You're like a little girl, pushing my hand away. You've got to drink and eat so your hair will gain back it's colour. Don't you remember what they used to say about you? How nicely you look after yorself, always so well groomed. The neighbors never saw you in a house-robe. And your children, did they saw you? What a wonderful hair you have. Don't let it grow wild, So soft...

Paula
Don't touch me. Can't you see it's all rotten. If you touch, It'll stick to you too!
***

Naomi
No, this is not the right door. Strange names lettering over the closed doors. What dark secrets lurk behind them? Or perhaps miraculous secrets. This is the head nurse's room, and here is the general director's place. Precise categories. Nobody interfers with other's affairs.

A door opens. Naomi jumps.

Naomi
Sorry...

Nurse
Are you looking for someone?

Naomi
I'm here to see Doctor Adar.

Nurse
Fourth door down the hall, half a floor up. It won't be difficult to find.

Naomi
Are you sure? (The nurse's steps fade away. Naomi calls after her) Nurse... She didn't even pause to wonder why am I looking for him. What am I to him? Maybe a relative of his, or a close friend, or his secret mistress. Or simply a new patient. I could be also put behind a locked door under some lettering.

Sounds of the Hospital's kitchen. Trolleys move.

People shouting
"Please bring the patients their lunch!"

Naomi
Excuse me, what's on the menu today?

Nurse
Carrots. (Pause) Very healthy.

Naomi
My mother won't eat.

***

Gideon
(in disbelief) And you didn't notice any signs?

Naomi
I simply didn't notice any change. Only one person - a distant cousin - had commented once that mother has been losing weight, and she asked me if I've send her for a check-up.

Gideon
And did you?

Naomi
I--- I Began watching her, checking her plate. I've noticed that the fork moved the food to the sloping sides of the bowl and nothing was left in the middle but a hollow well surrounded by a full circle. When I asked questions she would reply: "I ate already, just before you came." And I believed her. What else could I do? But when it came to my own meals she would keep goading: "Eat! Eat!" standing guard over me until my plate had been cleaned. Only once....

Gideon
Yes?

Naomi
You Write all the time. Are you afraid you'll forget?

Gideon
(Ignores her remark, and proceeds) Only once...

Naomi
I heard her whisper that we've got to build up our strength for what's coming.

Gideon turns a page. He is silent.

Naomi
You're running out of pages.

Gideon
And you? Did you eat?

Naomi
I'm of no importance. She is the patient.

Rustle of papers.

Naomi
Don't start a new page for me.

Gideon
And yet at the last moment you've decided to take her to the hospital. Did your brother commanded you? Does he give you orders by remote-control?

Naomi
It was morning, the middle of the second period, when the principal came into my class and told me that I have an urgent phone call. The neighbor apologized for bothering me at school but she thought I should be notified because--- because--- she asked me to come right away. I left my class with a substitute teacher and ran all the way. The only thought that crossed my mind was how the children take advantage of my absence, how they become wild. The neighbors were waiting in the entrance hall. They told me that mother had begun banging on people's doors, screaming her children were starving. "And we' ve got to find food for them", she screamed, "Yigael is out in a street somewhere dying of hunger, and pretty soon there'll be nothing left of Naomi either". She told the neighbors that this is the only reason I haven't found myself a husband. On the phone from Canada Yigael said to me: "what are you concerned about? Getting old is only natural. We shall also end up that way."

Gideon
We nourish her through the vein. The sugars are absorbed directly in the blood.

Naomi
We broke down the kitchen door. She was lying on the floor, the colour drained from her face. I bent over her and I heard a strange sound coming from my shoe's soles. White crystals cracked underfoot as though the worms had crawled out of earth. I wanted to take them off. I fell on my knees and the white crystals stabbed me deep in the flesh, Without mercy. This was a bag of sugar that had toppled along with her. Just white and cold sugar.

Gideon
Sugar is life.
***

Nurse
A very quiet patient, well-behaved, you might say.

Gideon
(Starts laughing) What do you mean, well-behaved?
She refuses to open her mouth. There's no change as far as that's concerned.

Nurse
She is lying in bed motionless. Only a tube is running along her arm. Today she asked me to open the window. A draught got in and the transparent bag of nutrition swayed like a weather vane on a rooftop.

Gideon
(Surprised) Did she really asked to open the window?

Nurse
She says she is listening to the sounds from outside, but that the real music is coming from another place.

***
Gideon
How are you today?

Silence.

Gideon
Would you like me to open the window? It's closed today of all days. It is Holiday, don't you remember? New- year's eve. You'll celebrate here with us this year, and next year you'll be back with Naomi, and Yigael will come too. Maybe his wife will join him. Maybe Naomi will bring someone along.

Paula is trying to mutter something. Her words are unclear.

Gideon
(Enthusiastic) Is there something that you'd like to tell me?

Paula
(Counts) One, two, three, four, five--- and five more.

Gideon
I don't understand.

Paula
In ten days...

Gideon
What's going to happen in ten days?

Paula
Yom Kippur, the Fast of Atonement. Then you'll let me, won't you Doctor?

Gideon
(Stunned) You don't have any sins to atone for! The one who is called "god" forgave you a long time ago.

Paula
You don't understand, young man. I've gone through forty days of Atonement and I'm still unclean.

Gideon
I am your friend. I'm here to help you. Maybe because I am a complete stranger, you'll trust me. Open your eyes Paula. There is no point in your self-denial, or your agony.

Paula
(She bursts out in a wild laughter) Once I'm finished, it will be the end of the horror too. And the terrible stench.... Smell for yourself, my hand. This is not a human being's hand, and I am not just one corpse but many- A whole pile. You probably know the kind I mean. Elegant, wrapped in nylon bags inside your refrigerators, like loaves of bread. But we're different. Lying in the ditches, getting bloated. How can you stand to be near us? But then again, You are a Doctor. You swore your Hippocratic Oath.

Gideon
(Tries to stop her stream of words) Mrs. Zimmermann, Paula...

Paula
Now you listen to me! Someone has to be brave. Simply to finish once and for all. I have to be finished! Don't you understand? Forty years too late. Another Yom Kippur is coming today. In our blocks back then, we prayed the Atonement prayer from memory. I couldn't remember the words. They brought pots full of real soup and we didn't taste it. It was our Holy day of fast. Even when they whipped us we didn't touch the food. Now I've got my permission to stop fighting over every crumb anymore. I kept putting it off, but I knew it would happen. Yigael already ran away, and Naomi hasn't found a man. I still have to scrounge for every scrap, just for them. It's my duty after all. I have to make it up to them. And you Doctor, you are my sole obstacle, standing in my way like a rock. Why did you stop writing? Are you short of words? You tied me down with transparent handcuffs. If you think I'm just a dog you can tie down with a leash, you're probably right. You're not very original either. There were others who had the same idea. But I figured out a way out of prison's cell, my own private camp. I am appealing to your sense of reason, as a doctor who spent seven years studying a respectable profession. I'm begging you to find compassion within your heart for a damned creature. I'm running out of strength. Please stop interfering, I'm begging you. Let me finish myself off in peace.

***
Classroom in a school. Voices of children.

Naomi
Silence please! Children! I'll wipe the board and we'll start our lesson.

Boy
Teacher! Teacher!

Naomi
Yes?

Boy
You didn't wipe it all. There's a dusty island in the heart of the board.

Naomi
Where?

Boy
Don't you see?

Naomi
No. (Pause) Where did we stop last lesson?

Girl
(Reads) The Insect Families. The Honey-bee is a social creature if ever there was one. It lives its life in an organized, highly-developed society, tied to the hive.

Naomi
We'll study today the language of the bees, a language of dance. It's a language that provides information about where to find food - its direction, and how far away it is from the hive.

Boy
Teacher, does she always tell the other workers when she finds flowers?

Naomi
(Explains) Only the Queen bee doesn't leave the hive. She does her duty of producing a new generation at regular intervals. The bee's sense of timing does not depend on any outside factors. The Royal bee--- the Queen, needs help. If the workers won't bring her food she'll die.

Boy
And do they always take care of her?

Naomi
All bees are her children. (Pause) Oh, yes, I can see something on the board. Where is the sponge?

Girl
Here it is my teacher. And where is the male bee- the drone?

Naomi
I've just discovered the dusty island in the heart of the board. I'll wipe it right away and it won't disturb us anymore.

***
Gideon
What do you feel when you throw bread away?

Naomi
Why do you ask me? I'm not the patient.

Gideon
And I'm only the doctor.

Naomi
What will you do with this pile of papers? Will you file them in the darkness of the archives? I give it another chance. I'm preparing to scrape off the mould, forcing it to take a new hold on life. I put off the final verdict, because when I did throw out that chunk of bread, I'd be throwing myself too.

Gideon
Naomi, please... wait... don't throw anything yet.

Naomi
In the chronicles of bread there was one dark chapter. You see, she rubbed out of her life five years. In the chronicles of Paula Zimmermann the years between age nineteen and twenty-four, are missing. She'd never lift the cover off again. Evereything underneath will get mouldy with green funghi and finally will decay. No one will ever know what had really happened.

Gideon
Maybe you'll remember...

Naomi
(Recalls) Alice and her sixteen-year old daughter were her block-mates. The prisoners would pick at each other's plates, to see if any of the others had been lucky enough to wind up with one of those dark pieces of potato peel. Treacherous luck. The mother and daughter wouldn't share with each other. Instead, the daughter would peer harshly into her mother's plates, to make sure she hadn't been indulged by some wild stroke of good fortune. The daughter might have been forgiven, but as for the mother, she had turned into a black widow. Are you familiar with that insect? It's a lethal spider. Alice begrudged her own flesh and blood. She was prepared to rip her apart for a stray string of meat. I didn't dare to push away my plate, I was not allowed to say "It's disgusting". Mother would shudder. She was holding her head with horror. (Imitates her mother) "You cannot talk about it that way! Never insult it. Never even make fun of it, because bread never forgets. It holds a grudge.

Gideon
But perhaps the crumbs forgive...

***
Gideon
There, the blanket is wrinkled, but don't worry I'll smooth it in a minute. I'll even strech the sheet. I think I'm no less efficient than the nurses. How is our infusion today? A royal banquet, isn't it? A five-fork restaurant. Give me your hand. We'll check the pulse. It's like a feather, But how many things this hand can still do.

Paula
You're tired, Doctor Adar.

Gideon
(Surprised by her concern) A hard day. And how are you feeling today? Want me to turn on the radio?

Paula
No, not now. (Whisperes) I have other sounds to listen to. You know, I can hear the transparent drops going straight into my bloodstream at a steady note. It's only at night that their rhythm is upset and they grate the ears. I'll let you listen too. After all you're a human-being. Put your ear right here, where the tube touches my arm. Yes, precisely. Can you hear it?

Gideon
It sounds like the last drops of melting snow.

Paula
That's right. Except there's no snow in this country. I'm so happy that someone else hears the concert as well. Lucky me. I have found myself a doctor with a musical ear. For so long I've searched for such a person. There's a secret I won't tell anyone but you. All those years, while I was raising that food at home, watching over it as if it were small babies... One day I heard the bread talking, and the grains of rice whispering to each other. They were saying how they were taking care of themselves for my sake or for anyone I choose. My Fuehrer, Fuehrer. I thank you for the meal and for the food. The young lad stands guard, faithful companion to the old. You assuage all my cares, peace reigns in my heart. My soul is in your hands day and night. My Fuehrer. There can be no other but you. Heil my Fuehrer, Heil.

Gideon is in a state of shock.

Paula
That was what they sang. I can still remember every word of that hymn of thanksgiving. Don't be afraid. It's an after-dinner prayer out of their prayer book. Look, I clasp my hands like a good girl. You wanted to know what else could this hand do. Ask her what can she cause. An obedient girl, that's how I sit to the table. I say my prayer beautifully, with an accurat accent. No one will guess who I am, what I am. Those grains of rice kept reciting the hymn for me. Here I am a decent german girl back then in Koln. Nobody suspects. Not even the sugar.

Gideon
(Quotes her)--- Peace reigns in my heart. My soul is in your hands day and night---

Paula
And he turned me in. One grain betrayed. Went straight to the Gestapo headquarters. And I prayed so beautifully. I remembered all the words. And you'd better be ready too. I'm warning you. You may be a doctor, but you're a bigger fool than I thought. (Her speech quickens) What a wonderful feeling. My jaws are at rest now, after years of pointless chewing. My body's light. I can take off. Except for that damned tube of yours tying me down. Come on and cut it away! Gideon! Gideon! Now! It's the right time!!

Gideon
No!

Paula
(tempting) Come Gideon! Come to me. Forty years I've been waiting and time is so tiring. I kept away from the electric fence back than. I didn't have the courage. Please cut it! You yourself heard them whispering. Doctors know the truth, even if they won't admit it. I let you listen to the drops. I recited the thanksgiving hymn. The drops of that damned liquid of yours tell me that you're forcing them into my vein. They ask mercy for me. Don't punish them Gideon! Have mercy on them. Even a heart of stone will be melted by their crying. They cry right into my vein. Cut it! Cut it! Stop the excruciating flow!!

Gideon
(Takes her in his arms) Paula, I hold you. That's impossible. No one can cut. I'm here. Right here, don't cry.

Paula
I'm not the one who cries.

***
Naomi
Once there was a man I loved very much. I doted on him like a fool for several months before he rejected me in so many words. At first, I was totally numb. Only later did the first stabs of pain begin to dart through me. The memory of the one and only weekend I ever spent with him, used to come back to me at the strangest times. I thought we were one body joined to another. How stupid I was. But he was a very efficient lover. The kind who waited for me to take off all my clothes by myself and come to him all ready. He was feeling his way around a bit, just till the warm fluids dripped down my thighs, then heaving a few stifled moans into my shoulder for a finish, he fell immediately asleep. If that's all there is, I say to myself, maybe it's just as well to do without.

***
The teachers room. In school.

Teacher
Don't forget the teachers meeting the day after tomorrow. We're going through the lectures programe. By the way, how is your mother?

Naomi
There's an improvement.

Teacher
And when are they letting her out?

Naomi
We don't know yet. But the doctor says she's on her way to recovery.

Principal
Good morning Naomi, I hope you won't forget the teachers' meeting. You are behind the time table lately.

Naomi
I'm sorry, Principal. I really do my best.

Principal
What happened in that house of yours? Your brother had left home long time too, and didn't come back, did he?

Naomi
He promised he'll return, very soon.

Principal
Why doesn't he come to share the load with you? It's all on your shoulders.

Naomi
(Defensive) He's a very busy man. I didn't want to bother him.

Principal
It's tough with old parents. Till you figure out a solution. I know the situation. I have a father in a nursing home. Of course, it's not the same as a psychiatric ward, but the embarrassment, the shame... I completely understand how you feel.

Naomi
(Angry) There's no shame in hunger.

***
Yigael
(on the phone) How could you let it get this bad? (His question is repeated with an echo in the international line)

Naomi
No. you don't have to come if it's too difficult. I'll let you know if it gets any worse. She even forgot Papa's memorial day.

***
Naomi
I don't even know how she met father. She only said: "we've met after the war..." There are no snapshots at home, no albums. Nothing to show what mother looked like as a child, or as a young girl. Nothing to show her as as a beloved woman. No wedding dress. No objects in the house brought along with her from that other world. It was as thogh she had given birth to herself after that missing chapter in her life. And this doctor, Gideon (She pronounces his name softly) is like a detective waiting in ambush for both of us. Picking out the small tracks with his magnifying glass. What kind of a man he really is? Tall, mysterious, always wearing his white robe. He doesn't write anymore. Maybe he ran out of words. My mother's eyes widen whenever he comes into the room.

***
Patter of footsteps. A door is burst open.

Nurse
(Breathless and in panic) Doctor Adar, Doctor Adar, Come quickly please! She's Yanked out the infusion!!!

Sprint. A door is banging. Footsteps run fast.

Gideon
The bed is empty--- Where is she?????

Nurse
I don't know.

Gideon
(furious) I gave explicit orders to watch over her day and night. I said not to take the eyes off her even for a seconde. These patients are very clever, and Paula is sneaky. She was just waiting for the chance---

Nurse
I really don't know how it happened. I kept peeking in here every five minutes. And her cheeks gained some colour today, She almost looked happy---

Gideon
Put all the security guards on alert, and the entire stuff too. We have to find her before she gets too far.

Commotion. Doors bang.

Melange of voices shouting
"Mrs. Zimmermann! Mrs. Zimmermann!! Where are you???

Gideon
Alfred, Alfred. did you see her?

Alfred
(Instead of speaking he is singing) I am an old soldier standing on guard. No one will expell me. I won't be deserted in the hands of my enemies.

Gideon
(Impatiant) Alfred, there are no enemies around. Now, have you seen her?

Alfred
(Singing) I saw, yes I saw a woman who defected from the camp. But we'll capture her, we'll bring her back. She's ours. One of us she is. No place for traitors here.

Gideon
Not now, Alfred, where is she?????

Alfred
Here, here!

Gideon
(Cold and Cruel) This is a mirror. It's your own reflection.

Alfred
(Snivling) No, No. She got in. She ran into the enemy's camp. She has no chance. It's a dangerous place.

Nurse
Doctor Adar, Should I call the police? It's almost Saterday evening.

Gideon
The light is almost gone. We won't be able to find her in the dark. I'm going out to the garden.

Nurse
(Her voice follows him) At least take off your robe. Many thornes has grown in the garden.

Gideon
(Calls) Paula! Paula!! Where are you? Don't run away from me!! (His voice echoes) Paula! Paula!! (In the background we hear Alfred singing: "No place for traitors.")

Paula
(with self assursnce) I've been waiting for you.

Gideon
(softly) Come.

Paula
Not yet. Sit here next to me. Smell the earth. Not from a distance. Closer, Closer. Take some earth in the palm of your hand. It'll get dirty, so what? Can you smell?

Gideon
Yes. Mud. Like in the oranges grove. It's the smell of... the first grass.

Paula
Also of the dead.

Gideon
It's Saterday evening. Let's go in. I'll assist you.

Paula
You Exert yourself too much. Rotting away like me. The earth is flooded. Water all over the land. You've got to believe me. I know. Go cut your own infusion! Mine is easy to find. It's always easy to connect others to transparent tubes, but you have to find your own transparent tube!

The searchers' voices are heard all over the garden
"Mrs. Zimmermann!! Doctor Adar!! Mrs. Zimmermann! Doctor Adar!!

Paula
We're over here!

Voices
Help her! Careful! Careful!

Paula
No, I don't need any help. It's Him--- He's the sick one!

***
Loud knocking on the door.

Naomi
(Sleepy) Who is it?

Gideon
It's me, Doctor Adar.

Naomi
(Opens the door) What time is it?

Gideon