Excerpt

So proud they were when they announced how they picked up the quietest room for me. But quietness is a kind of loud noise, do you understand? No, I guess you don't. After all, a child lives in a hassle bustle that never stops, perhaps only while sleeping. A child is always surrounded by sounds. I do remember. No one forgets himself as a kid. You too will one day. Tell it to your parents. I wish there was a law: everyone must remember himself as a child - at least once a day.

But I don't have to make an effort to recall myself as a young person. Everything that's been stored in my memory has even a fragrance. I am what you call "An Old Woman" - Old rag get up! Sorry old lady - that's how they see me. I can see it in their eyes. These people are my mirror.

You too see me like that, don't you? White hair. Chubby cheeks. A heavy body. I'm not too happy about it either. Yes, I cannot run fast anymore, nor jump, but when I opened the gate this morning and left, I felt my feet were so light. I was flying.

An old woman? Me??? But I'm simply Hana. To my parents I was always Hana'le, and to my late husband I was "my love" and to my daughter I was always "Mom". And to my neighbors and at the grocery store I was "Mrs. Sheinman". And to all my students I was the music teacher. Aren't you offended when someone yells at you "hey kid"? Just a kid?

I wish someone would yell at me now....

I didn't even feel when this change happened. When did I turn from a young girl into a mature person and from that I became so quickly "an old woman".

I look at the mirror and want to scream. Where did my familiar face vanish? It's as if I slept for a hundred years.

 

 

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